Castiel x Reader: My Heart in Ink

    The Winchesters were never too fond of you keeping a diary--in fact, Dean reminded you every time he saw you writing in it not to put in specific details, like town names or people you and Team Free Will questioned during investigations. But while the Winchesters disliked the idea of you scrawling down the day's adventures (even though their father did nearly the exact same thing), at least one of your fellow comrades approved; Castiel, as it so happened, was fascinated by the concept.

    "What's that?" he had asked one day in the middle of a conversation with Sam and Dean after noticing the gentle sound of your pen dancing across the paper.

    You smiled to yourself and glanced up, meeting his eyes for a few seconds. "It's my heart in ink," you state proudly, as if the words were a secret club and only you were allowed to join.

    "Cheesiest title ever," Dean muttered under his breath. Sam just rolled his eyes, and you weren't sure if the gesture was at his brother or you.

    "That sounds rather foreboding," Castiel admits, sounding uncertain.

    "It's called a diary, Cas. I write things about myself and what I do in here." You tapped the paper with the pen and kept writing.

    "Oh," Castiel nodded, mostly to himself. "Have you written about me?"

    You hadn't answered, and he hadn't asked again. He went back to his conversation with the brothers and you went back to writing about the trench-coat adorned angel that you had somehow, between the blood and gore and death, fallen in love with.

    A few weeks later, Dean was in a particularly mischievous mood, and that was never a good thing. While you hopped in the motel shower to clean dirt and grime off of yourself from digging up a grave, he noticed the worn little notebook unguarded on the table and smirked, picking it up and ruffling through a few pages. "Hey Cas," he called to the angel several feet away, "still wanna know if (y/n) writes about you in here?"

    Castiel, unable to resist the temptation to know if you thought about him outside of hunting, nodded, maybe a bit too eagerly since Dean chuckled at his response.

    "Castiel was so brilliant on the hunt today. He's so sharp and always one step ahead of the rest of us. Sam and Dean are great, but Cas truly is special," Dean reads, adding a dramatic tone to his voice for effect. He flipped a few pages over. "I think I may have caught Castiel staring at me while we searched for the shapeshifter today. His gorgeous blue eyes are so enchanting; it's a good thing I only got a glimpse, because any more and I can't seem to look away until I notice him looking back. Getting caught is unbelievably embarrassing, but he doesn't seem to mind. He's sweet like that." A few more pages rustled as Dean searched for another juicy paragraph. "There's no doubt in my mind now, and I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm in love with-"

    "WHAT are you DOING?" you screeched in disbelief. Dean jumped up from the couch, dropping your diary. He was legitimately concerned you might hurt him; your face was bright red, your eyes were flashing with anger, and he had never seen you this furious. Castiel took a few steps back, his eyes widening in shock at your behavior.

    "I'm sorry! Cas and I just wanted a little peek into 'your heart', okay? No harm done!" He put his hands up in defeat and ended up pinning himself to the wall while you stood, inches away, fuming with your fists clenched at your sides.

    "You read him my diary? And you say there's no harm done?!" As the realization dawned over you, your anger melted to embarrassment and then to sadness. You backed away, glancing at Castiel for a mere second before your eyes hit the ground. You didn't even look long enough to see his apologetic expression. You gave Dean a look that was pure hurt and turned to run off, grabbing your book from the couch, flinging the door open, and running out into the cool night air. You passed Sam on the way out and he made a grab to stop you, but doesn't succeed.

    "What did you guys do?" Sam asked, wondering if he even wanted to know after seeing how upset you were.

    "Curiosity killed the Castiel," Dean replied while running a hand over the stubble of his chin, noting that Cas had disappeared from the room as well.

    Outside, curled up behind a bush beneath the crappy neon motel sign, you bit your lip and tried your hardest not to cry. Your diary was full of private thoughts about Cas, and Dean had exploited them! How on earth could he do that to you? As unbearable as he could be for you, and as annoying as you could be for him, you two were still close friends. You felt betrayed, vulnerable, and most of all, misunderstood. Those three words spiraled through your mind time and time again, finally eliciting a few tears from you, which you quickly swiped away.

    "(y/n), please. I am sorry. Please don't cry," a familiar voice implored gently. You look over to see Cas sitting beside you on the damp grass.

    "Y-You heard the things in my diary," you choked out in a shaky voice. "Things about you..."

    "Yes, I did," Castiel responded simply. "I asked you before, but you did not answer. I let my curiosity about you get the better of me. I am sorry; you deserve more privacy than that."

    "Curiosity? About...me?" you repeated, dumbfounded. Cas sighed and dipped his head down so you couldn't see the blush that was coloring his cheeks.

    "Yes. I was only wondering if your heart had things to say about me similar to the things mine says about you," he answered. Your mind processed every word slowly, and you couldn't seem to find a response. "Here," he said, reaching into his trench coat and pulling out a small book with dark leather binding, "it is my heart in ink, as you so called it."

    You took the notebook hesitantly, as if you were worried it would crumble through your fingertips. Your eyes skimmed the pages covered in beautiful cursive handwriting.

    I have taken a particular liking to a hunter named (y/n). She is beautiful and intelligent, and she works with my friends, the Winchesters...

    ...she smiles at me often, and I have grown to cherish the moments when she is truly happy, for it seems sometimes that they are few...

    ...I have never felt this way before, I at first wondered if (y/n) had placed a spell on me, but she is far too kind to do something like that...

    ...Dean says I need to 'man up' and tell (y/n) how I feel, but I worry that she will not feel the same. Sam and Dean both say that she does, but I simply am not sure. I have asked them to give me proof of her affections before I tell her what I think of her, that she is wonderful and good and perfect in the midst of all her flaws...

    And on the most recently written-on page, you saw fresh ink that read:

    I am in love with you, (y/n). You may not be an angel from Heaven, but you are my angel.

    You breathed in sharply reading the last entry, tracing one finger over the words to make sure they were real, and sketched permanently into the white paper. They were as unchanging as a stone engraving.

    "Castiel," you whispered, barely believing what you're seeing.

    "You should know," Castiel said quietly, "that I am still afraid you may not feel the same, after what Dean and I did..." he hung his head in shame.

    You looked over, your eyes glowing with excitement and happiness. "That's really sweet..." you murmured shyly, blushing a color similar to a red rose. "I was only upset because you might think it was weird, or that you wouldn't feel the same..." You took a breath and finally forced out, "I love you too, Cas. I always have and I think I always will."

    There was a long pause as you two sat in long, comfortable silence, mulling over this newly presented information. Finally, Cas spoke up. "I believe now is an appropriate time for me to express a form of romantic affection?"

    You turned your head to ask what he meant but didn't get the words out in time. He captured your lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. You responded almost immediately, as if you had kissed him a thousand times before even though this was the first time. Adrenaline rushed through you and love-stricken thoughts raced through your mind, and you didn't even notice that he'd transported you back inside to the motel couch until you heard Sam groaning (he was also covering his eyes). Your head snapped away, your face still bright red, to see Dean's knowing smirk.

    "Cas!" You exclaimed, burying your face into Castiel's trench coat in embarrassment. He placed an arm around you protectively and shot Dean a warning look. The elder Winchester raised his hands in defense and  muttered something about you two needed to get a room before walking to the fridge to grab Sam and himself a drink, letting you and Cas have precious minutes alone. You fell asleep in the arms of an angel, and Castiel decided then and there he wanted that to happen more often.